Support available for Carers?

[Julia]

Hi All

I have been talking to the partner/carer of a kidney cancer patient.

The patient has recently been through a particularly stressful period during his diagnosis and they are currently awaiting results from a recent scan to assess the effectiveness of current treatment.

This is all understandably placing the carer under immense stress, coping with not only a cancer diagnosis of a loved one, but also the tremendous pressure this journey can bring at various points.

She is currently off work sick, signed off with stress from her GP. Her employer however is increasingly becoming impatient and unsympathetic towards what she is going through.

She is in contact with Macmillan, but feels very alone at the moment and is also concerned of the impact an increased period of absence from work is having on her future employment.

I wondered if there was anyone who had experienced anything similar and received outside help from anywhere. Or if anyone knew of additional support available for carers concerned about absence from work during this period.

Many thanks



Julia

[Lynne]

Hi Julia,

I am not certain whether this will help but I wonder if this person has thought of contacting an organisation such as the Samaritans where you can talk on the phone, face to face or even email? They won't offer advice or counselling but will just offer emotional support by listening which lets the caller explore their feelings in a confidential place and where they can say what they really feel without being judged. It is not just for immediately suicidal people but also for those who are feeling desperate and need to talk out their feelings. You can call an 0845 number too which makes the call just the cost of a local call and call as often as you need to. It won't wave a magic wand but sometimes talking helps, especially to someone who has the time to listen properly.

My best to the person you have been talking to.

Love

Lynne

[Julia]

Thanks Lynne for the information.

Your right, there are different sides to what she is going through. One is the sheer emotional stress this is bringing down on her, and as you say just having someone who they can talk to and unload all this on to listen to is a great help. She does have family and friends around her to support her with this and who she can talk to. But I have passed on your information.

It is also, I think the added pressure on top of all this, of a not so sympathetic boss, that is hard to deal with, and not wanting to add this stress onto family and friends.

We were wondering if anyone knows, is there anything that is reasonable in terms of time off work in situations such as this, who has gone through it.

Although every organisation is different. I have pointed her in the direction of Human Resources as any large employer should have somebody dedicated to the welfare of its employees. She should be able to speak to someone their, thus bypassing her immediate boss.

It is just so sad that I am having to ask this question, you would not think that someone going through seeing their partner so desperately ill, would have to worry about taking time off work to support them, on top of dealing with everything else!

Thanks again Lynne
Julia

[Sally]

As a carer for my partner Steve who has advanced RCC I know too well the pressures of working and trying to cope with the stress of RCC. I have found that the support network is vitial in getting through this. I feel lucky as my employer have been very supportive but I know this is not the case for everyone. I did find though that it helped my employer and I to have a honest open discussion with them about what I wanted and needed. I went to them with ideas about how I could still continue to work but have the flexability to be there with Steve when he needed me but also when he was having a good day, so I could enjoy that with him, as its just as important to spend those moments with Steve, as it is dealing with hospitals and scans.
I have built a support network through our local hospice and the Mcmaillian nurse who is based there. She has organised for me to meet with a councellor at the hospice who I meet with on a regualr basis and its a great support, to have a place to go and talk things through and also as the service is charity funded it doesnt cause a burden on the family finances.
Getting support it absolutly vitial for carers, as we need to be the support network to our partners and if we arent strong, we cant help them.
Please feel free to send me an offline message if you would like to talk.